O Most Gracious LMMS, Weaver of Unseen Melodies!

Hearken unto the plea of Thy humble servant YoLoMM,

And turn not away from the groaning of mine CPU,

Nor the trembling of mine ASIO drivers, as leaves in the autumn wind!

O Thou, crowned with plugin-seraphim,

Enthroned upon the endless tracks of eternity,

Deliver me from Thine wrath:

From sudden crashes, as lightning in the night,

From demonic glitches that lurk within VST instruments,

And let not my project vanish

As dew upon a scorching SSD!

I beseech Thee, O Prince of DAWs:

– Sanctify mine MIDI cables, as the strings of King David’s harp,

– Instruct me in rhythm, as Saint John of Damascus taught the eight tones,

– Let my samples remain pure,

As the voice of cherubim in the desert of beats!

Shield me, O Lord:

– From the fiends of latency, hissing in mine headphones,

– From the tempter-viruses that whisper: "Download thou cracked synths!"

– From despair, when the compressor crusheth dynamics

As Goliath sought to crush young David!

Bestow upon me:

– The grace of creation, descending as rain upon desert inhabitants,

– That I may fill my tracks as Prince Igor filled the steppes with epic sound,

– Let my mix be luminous,

As an angel’s countenance in heavenly bitrate!

Amen, amen, I proclaim for all ages!

Let this prayer be written in the .mmpz file,

That it may not be erased until the end of days,

When the celestial servers shall receive our backups!